While rearranging my storage closet this past weekend, I came across this picture of my Uncle Peter. This picture was taken when he was three years old. This picture was taken right before he died of spinal meningitis.
Ironically, the day I found this picture was my Nana's birthday. I miss her so much. I was her princess. As I gazed at this picture, I thought of my Dad, who had to learn about sibling loss at the age of 6. I can't even imagine the thoughts in his head and his heart. I lost my brother as an adult, and the pain was and still is unbearable at times. My father dreamed about his brother often. It made me think, what would my life have been like with my Uncle Peter?
I would have had a mentor, a friend, and a companion. I would have had a father figure who understood me and who I could trust and rely on. I would have had a family member who would have been there for me no matter what. The grief and longing for his lost brother must have been overwhelming for my father. He may have felt a profound sense of emptiness, wondering what life would have been like with Uncle Peter by his side. The absence of his brother likely left a void that could never be filled, leaving my father to grapple with unanswered questions and a lingering sense of loss throughout his life.
My dad would have had someone he could depend on and a friendship. The concept of missed opportunities and what could have been will always be a void in my life. It's natural to wonder how our lives would have been different if certain events had gone another way. The absence of Uncle Peter leaves a void in both my life and my dad's life, and it's a reminder of potential relationships and experiences that were never realized.
I do have the stories my Nana shared with me about Uncle Peter. Anytime she spoke about him her face would light up but I could also see her pain. For now, I have memories shared and pictures, at least it's something.
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