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  • Writer's pictureR T

Push Me Close

Have you ever had an experience where you planned for something for months, and then the night before, it all falls apart?

Depending on the circumstance, you can bounce back quickly.

It can hurt badly, and it is hard to bounce back.

I had an experience like this and am still trying to process it.

The one thing am doing is recognizing and acknowledging my emotions.

Each day I purposely find new ways to get over my hurt.

Through this process, I have not ignored how the other person made me feel.

I sit with it and have made it known to them.

If they cared was not relevant; I needed to rid myself of that energy.

Here is what I do know:

I Was Never Broken

"If you push me away,

I promise you,

you won't find me where you left me.

My heart's big,

but not big enough to deal with people

who decide to love me

when it's convenient for them. "

~ Unknown

My heart right now is numb, the entire experience changed me, and I don't think I will find the old me.

As I grow, I have left parts of you behind.

You push me away with your actions, and now I have left the old address.

I am not washcloth to be changed as you feel.

I meditate and pray as I continue to forgive you for me.

Will, I ever trust, will I ever feel the same; I don't know, not sure if I ever want to go backward.

You should've pushed me close.

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