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  • Writer's pictureR T

Push Me Close

Have you ever had an experience where you planned for something for months, and then the night before, it all falls apart?


Depending on the circumstance, you can bounce back quickly.

It can hurt badly, and it is hard to bounce back.


I had an experience like this and am still trying to process it.

The one thing am doing is recognizing and acknowledging my emotions.

Each day I purposely find new ways to get over my hurt.

Through this process, I have not ignored how the other person made me feel.

I sit with it and have made it known to them.


If they cared was not relevant; I needed to rid myself of that energy.


Here is what I do know:


I Was Never Broken

"If you push me away,

I promise you,

you won't find me where you left me.

My heart's big,

but not big enough to deal with people

who decide to love me

when it's convenient for them. "

~ Unknown


My heart right now is numb, the entire experience changed me, and I don't think I will find the old me.


As I grow, I have left parts of you behind.

You push me away with your actions, and now I have left the old address.

I am not washcloth to be changed as you feel.

I meditate and pray as I continue to forgive you for me.

Will, I ever trust, will I ever feel the same; I don't know, not sure if I ever want to go backward.


You should've pushed me close.










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3 Comments


ngeter
ngeter
Jun 24, 2022

Remember, the old you is no more because you have evolved to a 'better' you.❤️

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ngeter
ngeter
Jun 24, 2022

Renee, I feel every ounce of this post this morning. Time is an understatement regarding the length of time to get over something so traumatic and hurtful. It is partly because the person who inflicted such pain does not take ownership. And, an apology, in this case, isn't acceptable.

As much as my ex has died and is no longer in any visible/ear sight, the scars are still here. From time to time, I think of all the unpleasant scenarios I encountered; all in all, there is a slight relief because I acknowledge that I owned the power to have walked away, and that comforts me.

In essence, memories are both good and not so good. The not-so-good is my…

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R T
R T
Jun 24, 2022
Replying to

Thank you for sharing! I agree it can be hard to forget. One thing I have been doing is forgiving myself for having faith and believing. I am kind to myself and each weekend I try to keep myself busy so am not reliving the trauma. Time helps and so does staying committed to my vision.

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